Help you
by Yet-Another-Weasley
Summary: Arnold wants to help a struggling Helga who's given up. Yep, another angsty ArnoldxHelga fic, what else is new? Teen!HA
1. Chapter 1

Here he was, lying in his bed staring up at the dark night sky though the glass ceiling above his bedroom. And what was he thinking about? Her. Helga G. Pataki.

Today she had shown up to school late, later than usual. When she finally got settled in her seat it was only a few minutes before she was passed out on her desk. Nobody else seemed to notice. Even Phoebe had stopped paying attention to her. Though, that's not to say that Phoebe didn't care. Arnold knew that Phoebe was probably the one person that cared the most for Helga, but there just didn't seem to be anything she could do that would help.

It was after that time that Helga had confessed to liking him that he started to pay more attention to her. At first he couldn't accept the fact that she was in love with him, it didn't make sense. But, as he looked back at all of their interactions, he suddenly realized that he might have been the first person to pay any attention to her, to care about her well-being.

They were in high school now. He couldn't say he was friends with Helga, not good friends. They seemed to have some sort of understanding, though. She had long since stopped bullying him, but now she seemed almost shy around him. Every once in a while they would talk, help each other even. He wished he could help her now.

There was something in his gut that told him something was wrong… more wrong that usual. Over the years he had learned about Helga's home life: her perfect sister who stole all the attention, her alcoholic mother, her abusive father.

He wished she could have been stronger, that she would have been everything that he family is not. But he wasn't stupid, he knew that she drank frequently in order to escape. He didn't know what to do, how to get her to stop. He had a loving, caring family. There was no way that he'd be able to talk to her, to relate to what she was going through. So instead he watched her deteriorate, and felt horrible.

After lying there for a while he turned to his clock next to his bed on the nightstand. _2:27am_ it read.

As quietly as he could he slipped out of bed and pulled on a pair of sneakers. He climbed the stairs and went out onto the roof. He wanted to do something instead of just thinking about doing something. So he climbed down the fire escape and started walking to Helga's.

She lived several blocks away, but he didn't mind the walk. The cool fresh air gave him a chance to calm down.

When he finally stopped in front of her house he wasn't surprised to find the light in her bedroom was still on. Now he just had to figure out how to get up there.

There was a tree, but it didn't have any low branches. So he opted for the stone-throwing option instead. He picked up a pebble and tossed it so it hit the side of her house near the window. Then he waited a few minutes before tossing another.

The window slowly opened and Helga stuck her head out, looking around for he source of the noise. She finally noticed him.

"Arnold? It's past two in the morning you know," she said.

"I know. Couldn't sleep. Want to go for a walk?"

She didn't say anything for a while. It seemed like she was listening to the background noises in her house, trying to make sure Bob or Miriam hadn't woken up. She finally nodded and replied, "I'll be out in a few minutes."

Arnold went over at sat on her front step. Suddenly he felt nervous, he wasn't sure how he was going to explain why he was there.

The door opened behind him and Helga closed it gently behind her.

"I couldn't sleep either," she said.

"Is that why you've been sleeping in class?" Arnold inquired, but not in a mean way.

Helga give an answer, but he hadn't really expected her to.

"So what's keeping you up?" she asked instead.

"My conscience I guess."

"But you're mister look on the bright side. What could your conscience possible be chewing you up about?"

They were already three blocks away so he decided to take a risk. She couldn't exactly avoid him or run back into her house, and while he hated to put her on the spot on such a tough topic he had to get some answers.

"You." He said quietly. "I want to help."

"Help?" she said angrily, "How are you going to do that?"

"I don't know, Helga. But I do know that I can't sit around any longer silently watching you do what you do to yourself. What happened to the strong Helga who fought and who didn't take anyone's crap? What happened to the writer, the artist?"

"I don't know, Arnold. She's gone, I guess. That girl gave up a long time ago. What did that ever get me? It didn't get my parent's love… nor the love of the one kid I cared about."

"That was fourth grade…"

Her anger stopped, "I know, I'm sorry that was low. But throughout all these years you were the one person besides Phoebe that knew everything and you just let it all slip past your radar. So I became invisible, to everybody even you. Now look, even Phoebe has given up. There's nothing to do but give up, Arnold."


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Thanks a lot for reading and reviewing! I'm glad you guys like it so far! I'll be honest, life can be hectic sometimes so I'm not always the best about updating my fics (sorry!). But I hope you'll stick with it no matter how long it takes me to update. I have one more week off before I start classes again so I'll be writing as much as I can (or as long as my imagination permits me) so hopefully I'll get a couple chapters in :)

Helga's POV

I knew I shouldn't have said all that to Arnold. He really was the one person that ever genuinely seemed to care about me, even before I confessed my feelings to him. And now here I was sabotaging the whole situation. He'd come all the way here to see me, to talk to me, to take a walk… with me. Why did I have to push him away? All I could do now was wait for his response and hoped he really hadn't given up.

"I don't think I can do that," he said.

"So… what does that mean?"

"I do care about you," was his reply. He seemed to want to say more, but he stopped himself and left it at that.

"Okay…"

"So what happened to that girl from fourth grade? The one who saved the neighborhood? What can I do to get her back?"

I didn't know what to say to that. Was he implying what I thought he was implying? Or were my emotions getting the best of me?

What did happen to that Helga? Every time I look back it's like looking back at another life. I couldn't say I had a happy childhood, but I think it was the innocence. I thought things would change, but they never did. I began to see the world for what it was, people for what they were, my situation for what it was and what it would never be.

I stopped writing. That was the one thing that could always keep me going. Anything, and everything, I had ever felt I wrote down instead of keeping it all locked up inside. I guess it made it seem like it wasn't real. I could write it like it was just a story when really the things I wrote were part of my reality. Even with my feelings for Arnold. I loved him, but did I really like the real him? Or was I in love with the fantasy that I had created?

Was this Arnold standing in front of me right now the Arnold I loved or would he be another disappointment?

I think that's the real reason I didn't mind that Arnold gave me the chance to take back my confession. I wasn't ready for reality when the life I was living in my mind was my perfect escape. But then when I finally gave that up I resented Arnold for what he did. Yeah, we were young. How old were we? Ten? I was foolish for thinking a ten year old boy could ever love the way that I loved him. It wasn't a normal crush, I was attached. I'd loved the kid since preschool because he shared his umbrella with me… how ridiculous is that?

I must have been thinking for too long because Arnold finally spoke up.

"Helga?" he pressed.

I had to say something, "I don't have the answer to that question. Sometimes it's better to live inside your head than to actually live for real, or even to not experience anything at all. That probably doesn't make any sense to you, since you have nothing to escape from."

"My life isn't perfect and you know that. My parents left when I was just a baby. Every day I wonder what ever happened to them. Are they alive? Where are they? Why haven't they come back or tried to contact me? All I have are the stories my grandpa told me and what I read in my dad's journal. The rest I just have to imagine. And yeah, it is scary not knowing how things will turn out for real or if it will be anything like you imagined. Sometimes you just have to take a chance though. If I did find my parents I'd want to meet them no matter what… even if they might not being anything like I pictured. I'd still want to live… through the good and the bad." He paused, "So, what I'm saying is that you shouldn't let the bad things keep you from experiencing the good things."

I knew he was right. He was always right. I kept my eyes glued on my feet as we kept on walking and just nodded, hoping that he would see my silent response.

I could feel him looking at me. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him smiling and it made me smile, just a little.

"Life sucks sometimes, but it's a lot better when you make the best of whatever you've got."

"Yeah?" I replied, "I guess I'll give it a try."

God his smile was infectious! I was smiling now more than I have in a long time. I actually felt positive and like the future held something for me. I wanted to stay in this moment forever.

"Good," he chuckled. "You know, I'm glad I snuck out to take a walk tonight."

We sat down on a bench. We'd walked all the way to the park, which was a good fifteen blocks away from my house.

"Me too," I replied.

I couldn't tell if what happened next was a dream or if it was actually happening. Arnold put his arm around me and I leaned my head on his shoulder. We stayed there for the longest time. I was so tired and could feel myself drifting in and out of sleep while he told me more about his parents. I think he could tell I was only half paying attention since I was falling asleep but he didn't seem to mind. He never stopped smiling.

The next thing I remember is Arnold looking down at his watch. I could see that it said _4:34am_. I was still half asleep, but I jumped up in a panic.

"Arnold, we have to get home! Criminy, it's almost five in the morning," I said.

"I guess you're right," he said, "I think my grandparents will be worried if they wake up and I'm not in my bed."

"Mine will just be pissed," I replied.

We walked back as quick as our tired legs would carry us. Finally we reached my front step.

"See you in a few hours?" he asked.

"Yep… guess so," I smiled.

Then he left to walk back to the boarding house. I watched until he turned the corner before heading back inside my own house and creeping quietly up to my room.

My mind was reeling with all that had happened in the past two hours, but my body was too tired to process it all right then. I fell asleep almost as soon as my head hit my pillow and managed to get a couple hours of sleep before I woke up to get ready for school. I was anxious to see how this day would turn out.


End file.
